First Page Feedback – Heart Talk

Another Medical title! T.D. Jones (@TDJones5) has creating a great story!

“I won’t work with him again!” Samantha Summers insisted as she took a seat in front of the large desk. She sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. The news announced to her caught her off guard. She never expected to hear that the man she had
learned to hate was coming back.

“I don’t think you have a choice. He’s the best who’s applied.”

“You can’t do this to me, George.” Samantha quickly realized her tone was above the normal level one should have when talking to a boss. She had to calm down and state her case with professionalism. “Don’t you remember what he was like? He had an ego bigger than life. He did what he wanted, rarely listened to anyone. Surely after only ten years, you haven’t forgotten all the trouble he gave you.”

“I remember well, but ten years can change a person and he’s the best heart surgeon wanting to come to this area. I…we need him on our team.”

“He’s not a team player. Never was and you know that.” Samantha watched as George came around and rested his weight on the desk. Surely she could talk some sense in him. There was no way she was working with Joe Conrad again. The first time was a total disaster. “Please, Geo…”

“Stop, I’m not discussing this anymore. You will work with him and you two will be professional with each other. This is the only hospital in the area that will have two very successful heart surgeons and I will not have them acting like school kids. You were just starting out when you were together, you’re thirty five years old and I expect you to act it, Doctor Summers.”

Samantha knew when the Chief of Staff called her by her professional name, he meant business. She stood up and straightened her white jacket and fiddled with her employee badge. She glanced around the large room and then back at older man. She was wise enough to know she had lost the battle. “Yes, sir.” She quickly turned and was about to walk out when she looked back around and said, “I’ll never agree with this hiring, but because I respect you, I’ll be civil.” She spoke the words George wanted to hear, but what she didn’t tell him was she would do everything in her power to make sure Joe was so miserable he’d run for the door– again.

“Fine and don’t forget three o’clock tomorrow. I expect you to be front and center in the physician’s conference room welcoming him.”

Maybe George was right, people did change. She knew she had. She wasn’t the young, innocent girl struggling through medical school trying to keep grades up and trying to understand everything about the heart. Now a successful surgeon and nothing was going to get in the way of that, not even her past lover Joe Conrad.

 

First Page Feedback from the Harlequin Medicals team!

We loved the beginning of your story, as you immediately hooked us in with Samantha’s horrified response to her boss’s news. It is pacy and flows well, and you quickly establish why Samantha doesn’t want to see Tim again. 

You’ve set up a great premise for an intriguing story, and established from the start the all important emotional conflict between the hero and the heroine. We are now desperate to learn what it was that Tim did to her to make her feel this way! 

On a couple of smaller issues, it might be worth reining in Samantha’s reaction a little so she doesn’t appear too aggressive (wanting to force Tim out is perhaps a little extreme), and also show that despite her negative feelings there is the remnant of attraction there. Perhaps despite herself she can feel nervous/excited about seeing him again, and her treacherous body can tingle at the thought! 

This was a great beginning. Thank you!

Workplace conflicts always make for exciting story–and here there is really life and death on the line! 🙂

 

Leave a Comment

Comments